SOUTHERN BELLE

The world over,the term "Southerner" brings to mind a community of fun-loving people with strong values and a different lifestyle altogether.The southerners in America are well known for their "soul-food", large families,both (nuclear and extended). Another thing that distinguishes the Southerner is his/her accent,often termed "a southern drawl". The South of France is a well known vacation spot. Well known for its beautiful villas and its lush and beautiful scenery. Some of us are familiar with the "Savon de Marseilles"A soap produced in the south of France,believed to be very good. The southerners in France have a different accent from the regular Parisians. It comes off sounding a bit muffled.In Nigeria,the south is a beautiful place. Lush vegetation,quiet,beautiful scenery lots of open spaces and warm and friendly people can be found in the South. I come from the south,and I spent most of my life there. Like many others,I have left home to get a job in Lagos, and I have to admit that the adjustment is not as easy as I thought it would be!!First there is the hassle of traffic. I spend so much on cabs as I know there is no way I will ever comprehend the bus system here. Then I encountered what my friend terms "the sights and SMELLS" of Lagos. It was rather upsetting that a posh street with beautiful people,dressed to the nines,very expensive cars and lovely shops and big companies could be lined withblocked gutters filled with stagnant water and refuse, as opposed to Calabar were the streets are swept everyday!!Then came the social life,and being an exrovert,I warmed to this aspect. There are cinemas,clubs,parties,nice eateries and fabulously famous people all over which is very good.Another thing I noticed was that half the people I met (Nigerians) had either British or American accents or sometimes both! My best friend and I amused ourselves greatly laughing at the antics of some of them!The phony ones,that is.Then the part that offends me greatly is the "Calabar girls" myth. I got funny reactions from people when I said I live in Calabar. Some people asked me "How come your English is so good?"or worse off (mostly from the men) "Is it true what I hear about Calabar girls? Are you really good in bed?"The first question is no big deal,every tribe in Nigeria has their own accent, I wasprivileged to have the kind of parents I do who were well schooled,and since both of them came from different backgrounds, English is all we speak to each other. As for the belief that we are bed hoppers and the likes,I remain amazed!! Some people believe that a Calabar girl was taught how to pleasure men from a very early age. I cannot say this is true. Years back,in some areas in theSouth there was what was called "Mbopo", or the fattening room. Brides-to-be were put in a room where they recieved beauty treatments, tips on housekeeping and sex education from older,more experienced women,to prepare them for marital life. They also fed them a lot of food,as the males at the time desired plumper,rounder figures. This practise has faded over the years,and now only few people do this.Besides,I wouldn't say this has made the Calabar girl very promiscuous.Most of the girls I knew back home were often shy, warm good-natured people with a kind,nurturing spirit. If some worldly-wise person comes and takes advantage of her naivete,and therefore thinks she is cheap,or promiscuos,it doesn't mean that everyone should take his word for it!Then again,people will always be different. Every community is made up of different people with different values,different ideas and views on life, so we really should not judge people by where they are from.Having said all this, I am grateful to God for making me a Nigerian, I do love evry aspect of this great country,all I ask is that we should give each other a chance. You never know, you might learn something new! Besides,some of these things you accuse us of, have been known to help keep a marriage!!I on the other hand love the excitement and fast pace of Lagos, the millions of opportunities, the great fashionistas and famous celebs, but from time to time, my heart will long for the peace and quiet, clean air and familiar surroundings of my home - Calabar.I will always remain a Southern belle at heart.